I can’t wait until I’m all grown up
because then I won’t be sticky.
During my many perusals of internet articles and opinion blogs, something that I’ve picked up on is a general feeling of disdain towards my generation, the Millennials.
The internet is very critical of millennials and I take personal issue with some of these critiques, the first one being the claim that we’re soft because of all the participation trophies we received as children. This offends me mainly because I feel ripped off. I have never in my life received a single participation trophy and I participated a lot. Yes, there were a few participation ribbons but no trophies. And seriously, even as a child, I knew the difference- it was just a matter of knowing your colours. Primary colours= good. Anything else= not good.
The second criticism that I take issue with is the claim that we all need to grow up and move out of our parent’s basement suite. This one hits home (quite literally), and my rebuff is that you can be a grown-up and do all sorts of grown-up things while also living in your parent’s basement.
I think the #adulting hashtag phenomenon was born out of the Millennials need to prove to themselves and to the world that we really are responsible adults. So in that vein, I give you my own list of Thirty Activities that I Participate in Proving that I am Indeed, All Grown Up.
- Blow-drying my hair and using hair products I didn’t do this in my youth, so the fact that I do it now makes me feel much older and wiser.
- Registering my child for preschool Filling out those forms, dotting those I’s and crossing those T’s, I. am. a. grown. up.
- Signing chequesIt’s a powerful feeling. In that moment before I put pen to paper, I feel that I hold all the power in the universe in my fingertips.
- Vacuuming underneath my couch cushions Yeah, that’s right. Sometimes I lift ’em right up and vacuum right under ’em. GROWN UP!
- Using a spreadsheet My father would be so proud.
- Packing school snacks Thinking ahead. Considering things like shelf life and nutritional value
- Receiving my children’s colouring pages from Sunday school Saying things like, “Great job, honey! Let’s put it on the fridge when we get home!”
- Using an eyebrow pencil I know teenagers probably do this as well, but the point here is that I didn’t when I was a teenager and I do now, which means… grown up.
- Driving a car and filling the tank with gas. Although usually I try and put this off until Addison does it…
- Updating my credit card information
- Pulling out the winter wardrobe for the whole family
- Working in the garden while my kids play in the yard Just like my mama
- Making a meal plan (Breakfast for dinner, all week long)
- Making doctors and dentist appointments for myself and my whole family
- Paying my own dental bill Sometimes I don’t want to be all grown up.
- Putting important papers in a file
- Knowing the location of important papers In the file, of course!
- Calling my credit card company about a mysterious purchase
- Running Errands Everyone has errands but I think calling them “errands” is what makes this inherently grown up.
- Drinking Diet Coke I don’t do this very often but when I do I feel a strong sense of adulthood.
- Cutting my kids fingernails Attending to the personal hygiene of another human being is very grown up.
- Having a huge set of keys I have a huge set of keys! I only know what three of them are for. I have no recollection of adding so many keys to my key chain.
- Misplacing my keys I know this sounds irresponsible, but I think the fact that I often can’t find them is proof that I have an important set of keys to begin with. #grownup
- Cleaning the garbage out of the car My husband would probably argue that I never do this, but really honey, sometimes I doooo!
- Flossing my teeth. Nothing says, “I pay my own dental bills”, like flossing your teeth.
- Feeling sick after eating a hot dog. One remnant from my childhood is that I still really love hotdogs. Hard proof that I am quite grown-up is the fact that I feel sick after eating one.
- Thinking that I should go to bed at a reasonable hour. I’m still working on this one, but I think the fact that I’m thinking to myself “I should go to bed at a reasonable hour” shows how grown-up I am. Teenage me would never have thought that. Seriously, can you imagine a teenager or even a college student thinking or saying something like “reasonable hour”?
- Finding missing things when nobody else can. Yes, I do still lose things. But since becoming a Mom, I’ve also become great at finding things no one else can find. The secret is knowing that I’m the only one who throws stuff away. So I know that if I didn’t toss it, it has to be somewhere.
- Listening to the CBC Patriotic, dignified, cultured, and all grown-up.
- Turning 30 And you know what they say, 30 is the new 20. Which means I must be an adult now.